Episode 26: No Need to Promise Forever

After it was all over, both of us drenched in sweat, panting heavily, Seno-san pressed her lips gently against my body as if cherishing it.

Feeling uneasy that Seno-san’s fingers hadn’t yet withdrawn from inside me, I hurriedly pulled her face away.

“It’s over. I can’t do it again.”

Even though she’d taken me so thoroughly just now, I simply didn’t have the strength left for a second time.

“You didn’t stop at all when I said no earlier.”

“I won’t do that again! I’m truly sorry.”

“…Well, I suppose I have no choice.”

The pressure slid away with a slurp, and finally, the tension left my body.
　Clutching Seno-san’s neck tightly, our sweaty skin pressed together perfectly, feeling wonderfully comfortable.
But whether it was the heating or the alcohol, my throat was parched to death.

“…So, what about your… feelings…”

I still hadn’t asked the important question.
When I said it in a raspy voice, Seno-san laughed and buried her face in the nape of my neck.

“I was thinking…”

“What?”

“…Kaori, you should get promoted and become rich. Then wouldn’t I be happy? Take me on an overseas trip once a year. Then I’ll stay with you forever.”

I knew immediately she was joking. Her chuckles overflowed.

“What is that… You should get promoted yourself. You can go anywhere with your own abilities… All you need is a passport.”

Pointing out that she didn’t even have a passport made Seno-san laugh again.

“…Hey Kaori, I like you.”

A simple, light declaration of love. But it was enough for me.
Even though we’d been so close, we’d taken such a long detour. It was all my fault… All the strength drained from my body.

“What about you, Kaori? Aren’t you going to say you like me?”

“…If I didn’t like you, I wouldn’t be doing this. This wasn’t just a fling from the start.”

Closing my eyes, I tightened my arms around her.

“Do it again. That confession wasn’t romantic at all. For someone who prides themselves on being romantic.”

Her criticism flew at me, and I finally laughed, as if the tension had finally left me.

＊＊＊

Though Seno-san usually just fell asleep after sex, tonight she seemed to dislike the sticky feeling on her body. She suggested taking a shower, so we showered together.

When she saw the red marks scattered all over her body in the mirror, Seno-san sighed with obvious disgust. I felt awkward and looked away.

“…How am I supposed to hide this?”

“Can’t you cover it with concealer or something? It won’t be noticeable, it’ll be fine.”

I covered her wet hair with a towel and roughly rubbed it to distract her as she traced the red mark under her ear with her fingertip, looking displeased.

“Stop it, you’ll damage my hair! Don’t rub so hard, I’m not a dog!”

　I was relieved to have successfully changed the subject, but it seemed not quite how she’d hoped, for she abruptly pulled her hands away.

With no choice, I draped the towel over my own hair and gave it a rough rub. Then Seno-san took my towel and gently squeezed the water from my hair, saying, “See, that’s not it. You do it like this.”

Being with her, who was like some high-class cat, made me feel as though I’d become a stray dog.

　It struck me how deeply I cherished this soft, silky texture of my hair – realising it was built on such effort.

Only now did I wonder why Seno-san had ever taken a liking to someone like me… but fearing I’d lose all confidence, I decided not to ask.

The semi-double bed was a bit snug for two. Still, after lying on a hard floor, it felt like heaven.

“Ahh… a bed really is the best.”

My utterly exhausted body felt as though it might sink into the mattress at any moment.
Even Seno-san, who usually sleeps naked without even underwear, had today properly dressed in her loungewear and lay down beside me.

Just as I closed my eyes, ready to drift off, I remembered something important.

“Ah! Right, about Christmas…”

“Come on, let’s sleep. Why are you so full of beans, Kaori…?”

“It’s important. You made a date with Niiyama-kun, didn’t you?”

“Ah, right… Hmm, what should I do? Cancelling now would be a bit rude, wouldn’t it? Guess I’ll just have to go.”

“Huh!? What are you talking about? You can’t possibly go!”

“Eh? Are you the possessive type, Kaori?”

“It’s Christmas!　It’s not about possessiveness… that’s not what this is about! That’d be cheating!”

“I’m joking. I’m not going. Let’s figure out how to cancel together.”

Then why did you accept Niiyama-kun’s invitation in the first place? Was it to spite me? I thought, but decided not to point it out.
Never mind. If she’s here beside me now, I’ll overlook the embers of the past. Reigniting extinguished topics one by one doesn’t strike me as a wise choice.

“More importantly than me, Kaori was… well, she was hugging Kurosaki-san on the rooftop… what was that about?”

She shifted sideways, narrowing her eyes at me.

“Eh? Ah… that was…”

My gaze darted around. Nothing happened with Kurosaki-kun. It just reminded me I hadn’t properly turned down his confession afterwards. I need to tell him. It’s depressing, but I have to.

“I was just being friendly, like he was a junior at uni, but I guess we had different ideas. I need to properly turn him down again.”

As I chose my words carefully, Seno-san let out a small sigh.
In the dim light, her eyes just watched me quietly.

“…Kaori, are you really sure this is alright?”

“What?”

“Won’t you regret spending your precious late twenties on me? The longer we’re together, the harder it’ll be to turn back.”

Turn back.
Even without her saying it directly, I understood exactly what she meant.
I’d thought about it myself, countless times. The future of a relationship between two women.

If it were a rational choice, I’d have made it ages ago. It’s not like I never considered dating Kurosaki-kun.

“What do you mean ‘spend’? Are you planning to date me while imagining it will end someday?”

“It’s not like that, but I don’t want to be dumped for obvious reasons like wanting to marry or have children.”

“Don’t you trust me?”

“You’re not the type to hide things, so I’d rather ask now. …It’s a bit late, but when you date a straight woman, men become a threat. It feels especially frightening at this age. I wonder how long this will last. I’m scared of stifling your potential by being with me. I couldn’t bear it if, when we’re past the point of no return, you said, ‘This wasn’t supposed to happen.’”

“…Attending my sister’s wedding made me realise something again. I’m not the type who actively wants to get married or have children. So I won’t say those things. But if you’re anxious, I promise you this. There are plenty of ways to promise we’ll stay together forever, aren’t there? A partnership, or whatever.”

I thought I’d said it with considerable resolve.
I wondered if she might laugh it off as premature, but I wanted to make sure she understood.
Seno-san smiled softly and shook her head slightly.

“No. You don’t need to promise forever. Just stay by my side until you get sick of it. That’s enough.”

　Seno-san took my hand and squeezed it. It was warm. It felt strangely poignant, and I felt tears welling up.

No one knows what the future holds.

But right now, the person I want by my side is her and no one else. Among all the possibilities, I choose a future with her.

Five years from now, ten years from now, twenty years from now, or even further into the future, even if she’s no longer by my side then, I will never, never regret today.