Episode 1: Kissing is something people who like each other do, right?

Someone once said life is a series of choices.

Drunken words spoken at a drinking party.

A memory from when I was just starting out in the working world.
I think it was a male colleague who’d just decided to get married.
His face bright red, he was shouting loudly, as if trying to blow away his doubts.

　Back then, I didn’t give much thought to what my superiors or seniors said; it went in one ear and out the other.
But for some reason, those words alone stuck deep in my chest, lingering there, refusing to fade.

Now I understand. In life, there are moments when you’re suddenly forced to make a crucial choice.

　And when such a big event hits you, most people find themselves unprepared, forced to make the ‘best judgement’ within a limited timeframe.

I’ve been standing right in the middle of a fork in the road for ages.

Even though I know in my head which way I should go, I can’t bring myself to take a step forward.

By the time I realised I’d crossed a line I shouldn’t have, there was no turning back.

　At first, I thought if I just glanced back, I could surely return to the original path.

Unbeknownst to me, I had already stepped into a labyrinth with no exit.

＊＊＊

“Oh my. Playing sports even at university? You really lived it up in your youth. I’ve never been interested in sports, so I don’t really get that sort of thing.”

She said this suddenly as I sat on the edge of the bed putting on my underwear.
　It was a July night, one of many consecutive tropical nights.

I glanced over at her, still lying on her back on the bed, yawning nonchalantly, her lustrous nakedness exposed without any attempt to cover herself.

My gaze caught the pure white, full breasts I’d just grabbed and squeezed earlier, and I looked away, feeling awkward.

　What do you mean, not interested?
She asked me herself, and now I’m annoyed by her flippant reply.

You touched my back and asked, “Did you play any sport?” So I simply answered honestly, recalling the day I quit athletics, which I’d dedicated myself to from middle school through my second year of university.

Still feeling unsettled, I grabbed the cigarette packet left on the bedside table.
　I lit up, drew in the slightly bitter smoke, filling my lungs, then exhaled with a deep puff.

How many nights like this have there been now?

I still can’t get used to this woman being in my house. I put on a calm front, but whenever it’s over, the awkwardness lingers until morning.

　I wouldn’t dream of just doing the deed and then kicking her out, but at times like this, I simply don’t know how to behave.

Just a few weeks ago, if someone had told me I’d end up sleeping in the same bed as this woman, I’d never have believed it.

Even now, I struggle to gauge the right distance between us.

　I must take my hat off to the nerve of this woman, lying there as if she owns the bed that should be mine.

I know full well I’ll regret it every single time, yet I’ve never once refused this hateful colleague’s invitation.

She’s capricious, rubbing up against me like a stray cat that’s just wandered in, then vanishing without a trace the moment she’s had her fill.

　This woman, Seno Rei, was that sort of sly creature.

As I pondered this, she hooked her finger into the strap of my underwear and gave it a sharp tug.

The moment I thought, ‘Ah,’ she let go, and a dull thud echoed.

“…That hurt.”

“Turning your back to smoke after we’re done? That’s just the worst.”

She rolled over onto her stomach and fixed me with a sullen, resentful stare, so after a moment’s hesitation, I reluctantly stubbed out my cigarette in the ashtray.

Her ample bosom pressed against the sheets, shifting shape, leaving me at a loss where to look.

“What? What do you want me to do? Should I make you a pillow with my arm?”

“Figure it out yourself.”

Well, even if you say so…
For a moment, I did wonder if I should recall past experiences and mimic the behaviour of previous boyfriends…

Is the correct answer to pull her close, make a pillow with my arm, and cuddle until she falls asleep?

That said, it doesn’t feel like the right atmosphere for that.

　If I acted that stupidly straightforward, Seno-san would probably just laugh and tease me.

“I can’t know unless you tell me. You’re the first woman I’ve ever slept with, you know.”

With that, she curved her full lips into a bewitchingly seductive smile.

At first, she was just a colleague.

And frankly, she was absolutely not my type.
　Our work approaches, personalities, everything, it was almost comically opposite. Seno-san really had an unpredictable character.

Working together, I admit I grew accustomed to our relationship where we could casually say whatever came to mind, and my discomfort gradually faded.

Being able to exchange words without reservation felt refreshing.

Even so, my perception of her never crossed the line of ‘colleague’.

　Even now, I don’t understand how we ended up like this.

Up until now, everyone I’d ever liked had been male, and I’d never even considered wanting to date a woman. That hasn’t changed.

So why did we become like this? Repeating that question to myself doesn’t make the answer any easier to find.
I’ve kept searching for that answer. Even now.

Whether aware of my feelings or not, Seno-san grabbed my arm and pulled me.

　Her long, soft, light brown hair swayed.

Once dragged onto the bed, it would be over. I suspect no man or woman could refuse this woman’s advances.

When hedonism is pursued to its extreme, can people truly become this faithful to their instincts?

My neck was drawn towards her, her well-defined face drawing near.

　Her round eyes and delicate features gave her a childlike face that made her look far younger than her age, yet her figure was curvaceous where it mattered. This contrast only heightened her allure.
Realising she was about to press those lips, the same lips that had once declared to me she wanted to marry rich and find a life partner—against mine, I instinctively turned my face away. She laughed, amused.

“Kaori, you’re strange, aren’t you? You can have sex, but you still have reservations about kissing.”
Despite being rejected, she said it as if it didn’t bother her much.
Realising she was doing this knowing I disliked it, I frowned openly.

“…Kissing is something people who like each other do, isn’t it?”

“I think sex is something people who like each other do too.”

You’re the last person who should be saying that to me. You’re the first person I’ve slept with without being in a relationship.

I wish I could say that, but letting this woman know I’m not experienced would be like handing her ammunition to tease me.

“You know… I’ve been thinking for ages, you’re definitely taking the piss out of me, aren’t you?”

“Not at all.”

Seno-san laughed cheerfully.

I’d probably end up spending another restless night brooding beside her.

And come morning, she’d leave this house as if nothing had happened.

When we meet at work, another day begins as if nothing had happened.

No one knows about our relationship.

Ever since that day, I’ve been rolling around in the palm of this woman’s hand.