Episode 5: How Foolish I Was to Expect Anything from Kaori

It was a long time ago now, but there was someone I had feelings for, entirely one-sided.

He was a senior in the athletics club. Seeing her run faster and more beautifully than anyone else, like the wind itself, stole my heart at first sight.

her neatly cropped, refreshing hair and her bold, handsome brows.
And her lean, sculpted physique, stripped down to the bare essentials. her sun-kissed skin.

　At first, just watching her from afar was enough. But as I spent more time near her, the desire to become special to her grew within me.

The flame of love born from admiration is relentless and troublesome.

Once lit, it won’t extinguish until it burns out. It scorches, scorches, scorches until everything is consumed – a curse that makes forgetting impossible.

　The most intensely scorching memory of love I’ve ever known. That was the very essence of romantic feeling I understood.

It’s not that I’ve never known love. I’ve properly fallen for members of the opposite sex before.
Naturally, I’d never once felt anything special towards someone of the same sex.

So why, then, does that woman preoccupy me so? An unfamiliar emotion now occupies my heart.

　My life had been entirely devoid of homosexuality until now.
I’d occasionally seen special features on it on television, but my understanding had been limited to “Oh, some people are like that. But it doesn’t concern me.”

After all, for me, falling in love with men was simply the norm.

Living for twenty-six years, I never dreamed a day would come when I’d question that “norm”.

I must prove it.
　That this feeling smouldering in my chest right now is absolutely not love.

Unless I do, I don’t think I can move forward anymore.

The following week. Seno-san appeared in the office as if nothing had happened.
I glared at her as she casually said “Good morning,” pulled out a chair, and sat down.

Seeming to sense my stare, she looked over at me puzzled and tilted her head.

“What?”

“…You know, you’ve got a terrible drinking habit, don’t you? Last week was a bloody nightmare. You’re not going to tell me you don’t remember, are you?”

“Ah… right, you took me home, didn’t you? Sorry about that. I didn’t pay the taxi fare, did I? How much was it?”

I was stunned by how readily she apologised. I’d been ready to give her a piece of my mind, but I found myself at a loss for words.
　I couldn’t believe this was the same person who’d stuck her foot out at me last week, demanding I take off her shoe.

“…It’s fine, really. We were going the same way anyway, and I just dropped you off partway. Just try not to drink so much next time.”

What on earth was I saying?

I’d come to work today all fired up, determined to demand half the taxi fare I’d paid on Friday night.
　I was surprised by the words that slipped out of my mouth.

And what was that about ‘next time’?
Was I still planning to drink with this girl?

“Oh? Thanks. Well, next time I’ll pay, then.”

Seno-san gave a faint smile and said that, staring at me.
I couldn’t say anything back, just turned silently back to my monitor.

＊＊＊

I’d never before paid such close attention to observing a single person.

Sitting at the desk opposite mine, she always seemed listless and lacking in motivation.

Yet her work was always meticulous, frighteningly free of mistakes and precise.

　When Aosawa-chan and I were assigned to this department, the two original employees were transferred in a domino effect and even gained positions.

I’d assumed Seno-san was the only one left behind because she lacked motivation.

But I was wrong.

Our manager, Yamazato-san, placed absolute trust in Seno-san’s work ethic. Observing her closely, it was easy to see that Yamazato-san probably didn’t want to let Seno-san go.
Despite her appearance, her work was extremely diligent and meticulous. Yet when it came to romantic relationships, she was so unrestrained it made one wonder if she’d lost her marbles. Why was that?

　With Aosawa-chan gone, the empty seat beside me feels strangely lonely.
It was always a compact team of just four people. I’d naively assumed any vacancy would be filled promptly.

But that prediction proved wrong; even after two weeks, the empty chair remained unfilled.

“I thought Aosawa-chan’s replacement would be sorted straight away. Could it be we won’t have anyone until the autumn reshuffle?”

I asked Seno-san, who was drinking iced coffee beside me as I puffed out cigarette smoke on the rooftop.

Somehow, Seno-san had started coming up to the rooftop like this occasionally, even though she doesn’t smoke.

“Well, I don’t know. If they find someone who meets Manager Yamazato’s standards, I reckon they’ll assign them straight away… but they’ve been having multiple interviews with the HR Manager, so it might still be a while?”

The work Aosawa-chan had been handling was temporarily split between Seno-san and me.

　Manager Yamazato couldn’t work overtime due to her reduced hours. At four o’clock sharp, she’d bow apologetically, explaining she needed to pick up her child, and hurry home.

But I agreed with Manager Yamazato’s stance – that it was better to take time to find the right person than compromise and assign someone inadequate. So, no matter how much the workload increased, I didn’t mind.
“…Are you alright?”

“What?”

“You’ve been doing a lot of overtime lately. …If it’s too much, you could pass some work my way.”

It wasn’t about trying to make her feel indebted or anything like that. Accuracy aside, purely in terms of speed, I could get the work done faster than Seno-san, so I offered to take on more without minding the extra burden.

Seno-san looked slightly surprised for a moment, then peered at my face and smiled.

“No, it’s fine. It’s only temporary anyway.”

Honestly, I was surprised that Seno-san, who had always strictly adhered to leaving on time, wasn’t complaining about the current situation.
She was the one who always headed out into the night in search of encounters on Friday evenings.

But even though Seno-san declined my offer at that moment, the extra burden from one person leaving was tougher than expected.

　As the busy month-end approached, work gradually piled up. Before we knew it, overtime increased, and by the time we both clocked off, it became commonplace for the office to be completely empty except for us.

It was after half past eight before we finally managed to finish our work and rise from our desks.

Even just an hour and a half of overtime, if it continued day after day, was physically draining.

“Ah, I’m knackered. Hungry too. What shall I grab for dinner on the way home today…”

As I said this, rolling my stiff shoulders, Seno-san smiled softly while getting ready to leave.

Lately, I felt she’d been offering me this kind of unpretentious smile more often.

　We passed through the entrance and left the building. Outside, it was already pitch black. The humid summer air clung to my skin, weighing heavily on my tired body.

“…Kaori, do you always eat out?”

I turned to her at her casual question. Unlike her, who always brought her own lunchbox and seemed rather domesticated, I’d never cooked for myself.

The reason is that since I could get a hot meal and avoid washing up if I just paid for it, I can’t be bothered to gather ingredients and cook myself. Besides, even if I did cook, it wouldn’t taste good anyway.

“I don’t have the energy to cook after getting home, and I’m not good at it to begin with. Do you always cook for yourself, Seno-san?”

“Yes. I don’t mind cooking.”

“Hmm. Well, that’s fitting for someone actively seeking a marriage partner.”

　I couldn’t help saying it sarcastically, but Seno-san didn’t seem particularly bothered and replied calmly.

“I’ve always been able to cook, you know. If you have a request, I could make something for you next time.”

“Eh, really?”

I stared at her in surprise. I never expected her to say something like that.
She didn’t seem like the type to be overly helpful. What the hell, she’s got some good points after all.

“Though, only if you treat me to dinner tonight. I’m not exactly in the mood to cook at this hour.”

Her hazel eyes narrowed into a sly smile as she looked at me.

Right, I see. She just wants me to pay for dinner tonight… What a disappointment. Still as cunning as ever, that one.

But it might be an appealing offer. Treating her to dinner once isn’t a bad deal.

　When you eat out every day, you get bored and sometimes crave someone’s home cooking for no reason.

“Fine, deal. I’ll treat you tonight. Right, let’s stop by the gyūdon place on the way home.”

“Eh? Gyūdon? Listen… couldn’t you pick somewhere better?”

“Why? Don’t you like beef bowls? Oh, in that case, how about ramen? I know a really good place.”

Despite my earnest suggestion, after glaring at me, Seno-san sighed in exasperation.

“…I was a fool to expect anything from Kaori.”

“No, no, you’ll see once you try it. It’s genuinely delicious. It’s a ramen place a short walk from the station.”

“Right, right. Just take me there already, I don’t care what it is.”

Even though I’d suggested it, I couldn’t quite picture Seno-san slurping ramen, I thought to myself as I followed her back and walked alongside her.

＊＊＊

“Help yourself to whatever you like.”

After inserting a note into the ticket machine, I turned to Seno-san. She stared at the machine, then frowned in confusion.

“Um… what are you having, Kaori?”

“Rich dried sardine broth ramen, with a seasoned egg topping. Recommended.”

“Then I’ll have that.”

“Got it.”

Handing the tickets to the staff, we were shown to seats side by side at the counter.
Seno-san scanned the shop with wide-eyed curiosity, as if it were something utterly novel. Was a ramen shop really that unusual?

“I don’t eat ramen very often.”

“It’s not exactly something a woman would eat alone, is it?”

“Is it? I like it. I come on my own.”

She didn’t seem the type to be uncomfortable eating alone, but it was true – a man who took a woman of her calibre out wouldn’t likely choose a ramen shop for a date.

　The only other patrons were suited salarymen or male students; we were the only two women in the place.
But that was just how it happened today; it’s not as if women never come to eat ramen alone.

I dipped my spoon into the ramen served over the counter and snapped the disposable chopsticks apart.

Ramen works wonders for a body worn out by overtime. That’s what I think, anyway. I wonder if Seno-san will like it.

　Wondering about her reaction, I glanced over. Seno-san tucked her long hair behind her ear and pressed her palms together, murmuring a quiet “Itadakimasu”.

“Blimey, I’m parched to death.”

After thoroughly polishing off my top recommendation – rich dried sardine ramen with a soft-boiled egg topping – Seno-san muttered in a thoroughly fed-up tone on the walk back to the station.

“I suppose so. I thought you’d had too much soup. You should have left some.”

“You should have said something earlier. Kaori, you really are so thoughtless. Oh dear, my face will definitely be puffy tomorrow.”

“It’s your day off tomorrow, so what if it’s puffy? Oh, got a date planned or something? Popular girls have it tough, huh?”

“No plans like that. Been so busy lately I haven’t been out drinking at all…”

That makes sense. Working overtime on a Friday night like this clearly means she doesn’t have time to go out drinking like she used to.

“Well, just a little longer. Let’s stick it out together until Aosawa-chan’s replacement arrives.”

“Yeah, I suppose. But if I don’t go out for drinks at least once a week, I really can’t shake off the fatigue… Oh, wait! Hey, Kaori. Since we’re here, why don’t you come over to mine for drinks tonight?”

“Huh?”

Hearing that out of the blue felt like my heart had been clenched in a vice. I stopped dead in my tracks.

　Has she forgotten?

That one night mistake between us.
That it was the alcohol’s fault that day too.

Uncertain what she meant by inviting me, I stared back into her eyes.

Then she narrowed her eyes and gave a soft laugh.

“…What’s that look for? If you don’t want to, you can say no. Want to skip it?”

I’d thought she’d decided to pretend it never happened.

　Seno-san said nothing, just waited silently for my reply.
I swallowed hard, trying not to let her notice.

——Having come this far, it was sheer stubbornness now. I’d find out. What exactly was she playing at, inviting me like this?

“…No. I’ll go.”

I braced my lower abdomen and exhaled. Resolved, I started walking again.