Episode Thirty

“Yesterday, when Shigure-san was drunk, she said something. She called me ‘Runa’.”

“Eh?”

“That’s her, isn’t it? The model for that painting, the previous owner of the pillow.”

“Ah…”

I inwardly clutched my head. What on earth was I thinking, yesterday’s me?
So that’s what it was…
　Anyone would get angry if they were mistaken for someone else.
Ibara glared at me with eyes that were… wet.
“…Ex-girlfriend?”

“Huh?”

“So, she was Shigure-san’s lover, right?”

“No, she’s not⁉︎”

“No need to beat about the bush. You said it yourself. ‘Sometimes you should undress me,’ and all that.”

“No, that was…”

It was a misunderstanding. True, I had undressed Runa a few times.
But it wasn’t that kind of sensual thing couples do after three months of dating.
If anything, it was closer to caregiving or looking after a pet.
　What the hell am I demanding of a schoolgirl? Even if I wanted to mess around, this is just awful.
Ibara spat out.

“You thought I was a replacement for that person.”

“No, I didn’t.”

“Liar.”

“I’m not lying. Ibara, listen—”

Ding-dong.
The intercom announced a visitor with a bright electronic chime.
　I couldn’t help but exchange glances with Ibara.
In the middle of a fight (?), the timing couldn’t have been worse.
Ibara let out a heavy sigh.

“…Should we answer?”
“…Sorry.”

Amidst the terribly awkward silence, I pressed the call button on the camera-equipped intercom.
The image from the camera mounted beside the door appeared on the small LCD screen.
　What appeared there was—

“Eh? Runa?”

I gasped and covered my mouth, but it was fatally too late.
Glancing warily at Ibara, I saw her standing up, her eyes burning brightly.

“—So that’s how it is.”

“Ibara, wait, no. You’re definitely misunderstanding!”

“It’s not your ex-girlfriend, it’s your current girlfriend, right? I understand it perfectly.”

“You haven’t understood at all! That’s why Runa and I, it’s not like that—”

Or rather—

“Even if it were, it’s none of your business, right? I’ll apologise for calling you by the wrong name—”

“You idiot!!”

Ibara grabbed the cake box. Raising the square box high, then, as if remembering what was inside, her hand froze mid-air.
　Then, all the strength drained from her body.
Her slender arms trembled violently.
Tears welled in her eyes, heavy with dark circles, and she said with a ghostly expression:

“…………I’m going home.”

Sliding past me as I tried to follow, Ibara opened the front door. Still holding the cake box.

“Ah, Ame, Eh⁉︎”

　Runa’s confused voice was followed by the sound of footsteps rushing down the stairs.
This wasn’t the time to freeze.
Hurrying to the entrance, I found Runa standing there, umbrella in hand, looking dazed.

“Um, you left your umbrella at the shop, so I came to bring it back… Were you busy?”

“Thanks. But sorry. I’m in a bit of a hurry.”

“Wait.”

She grabbed my arm.
Being taller, Runa was stronger than me; I couldn’t shake her off.

“That girl… I’ve seen her on TV.”

“Runa, please let go.”

“—I remember now. She’s the one who quit ‘Charles’. Still in high school, right? Why was she coming out of Ame’s house?”

“I’ll explain later—”

“No.”

Pain shot through my arm. Her grip was unyielding, as if she’d never let go.
Her neatly manicured nails dug into my skin.
In a hard, sharp voice, Runa declared.

“Explain it here and now. Otherwise, I absolutely won’t let go.”

“…!”

Runa’s eyes were serious.
I glanced downstairs. There was no sign of Ibara within sight. It seemed she hadn’t been lying when she said she used to run every day during her idol days.
My legs wouldn’t be able to keep up now.

“…All right.”

I resigned myself and relaxed my body.

“I’ll explain properly. Come inside.”

†

After hearing the whole story, Runa murmured, “I knew it.”

“…Knew what?”

“Ame’s such a soft touch. I figured it’d be something like this.”

“I’m… just normal, really.”

“You’re not normal.”

Shaking her head from side to side, Runa denied it.

“Normal people don’t go helping others. Like that insomniac high schooler who approached you at the station, or that starving classmate in the corner of the university.”

“…Runa…”

Struck dumb, I lowered my gaze to the tea I’d prepared just to fill the silence.

“Ame is kind. But because you’re kind to everyone, sometimes, I think it’s cruel.”

“That’s not true.”

“You’re especially weak for cute girls, aren’t you?”

“Eeeeh…”

My memory’s a bit hazy, but I think Haru lectured me on something similar once.
Is that so? Am I really like that?

“Actually, by that logic, Runa would be a ‘cute girl’ too.”

“I’m rather cute, aren’t I?”

She said it with her arms spread wide.
Well, she is cute, but still.

“What’s a twenty-four-year-old’s self-assessment of ‘cute’ supposed to mean…”

“Ame’s cute too.”

“Thanks. When a beauty says it, even if it’s flattery, it’s nice to hear.”

“It’s not flattery.”

Runa said it in a slightly sulky tone.

“It’s not flattery. Objectively speaking, Ame is beautiful. She’s mature, but has this soft, dreamy aura about her – droopy eyes, sloping shoulders, the whole healing type. She’s not the kind to be the centre of attention, but quietly, she’s the most popular type. Actually, she was incredibly popular back in school. Didn’t you notice?”

“Eh? What are you talking about…?”

“I was always guarding her, so no one made overt advances.”

“Well, that’s fine because I wasn’t really interested anyway…”

So I was being guarded? I didn’t know.

“Not fine at all. That basically means I was tying Ame down.”

“Was she…?”

I don’t really get it.
I don’t recall feeling restricted by Runa. I did think we spent an awful lot of time together, though.
It wasn’t unpleasant, though.
　”Yes,” Runa said, lowering her eyes.

“Back then, I was constantly taking advantage of Ame’s kindness. Being looked after and pampered, being next to Ame felt incredibly comfortable, so I just kept hanging around here.”

“Well… but I was happy to do it.”

At my reply, Runa made a face like she’d bitten into a sour mandarin.

“That’s the thing.”

I didn’t quite understand.
Ignoring my confusion, Runa continued.

“But you see. That’s why I think it ended up like we had a falling out in the end, it was ultimately my fault. Because I relied on Ame too much. So, I—”

“No, it wasn’t.”

Runa looked taken aback by my counterargument.
But I was the one who was right.
Runa had misunderstood.
Around the end of our third-year summer, we had indeed grown awkward. Like a machine with a missing cog.
But that was never Runa’s fault.
　If anything, Runa was trying.
Like oiling a broken machine, she was gradually reforming her lazy habits.
The reason the cog was missing was me.
At the end of summer, Runa won a prize in a company-sponsored contest.
She made a dazzling debut as a promising young artist.
The friend I thought was my equal had, without me noticing, walked far ahead.
　Runa’s retreating figure was dazzling.
While I struggled with job hunting, Runa grew ever more radiant. She successfully held a solo exhibition while still a student and gained recognition as a book cover illustrator.
Seeing Runa like that up close was painful for me.
Gradually, I became irritated by every minor mistake.
Whenever something happened, I lashed out harshly. Things I’d once tolerated became intolerable.
I was—

“I was jealous of Runa.”

“…Ame…”

“I was always envious. When assignments came up at art school, when I saw novel cover art, I felt both admiration and resentment. So it wasn’t Runa’s fault our relationship didn’t work out.”

　This is a knot deep within my chest that won’t fade.
Calling it an inferiority complex would be easy.
If you say it’s just a common setback, then yes, it probably is.
For adults, it’s likely just a weight everyone carries around inside them.
But I still can’t bring myself to discard this burden.
Runa took my hand after I’d spilled out my heavy, sticky true feelings.

“──Then let me take responsibility.”

“Eh?”

“If Ame suffered because of me, if she’s still suffering now, let me make amends.”

“You don’t need to make amends, Runa.”

“Even if I don’t need to, I want to.”

“Why so much──”

“I like Ame.”

“…Eh?”

“Ever since that day you gave me melon bread in the corner of the canvas, I’ve liked Ame. I like your gentle side, the way you eat your meals so deliciously, how you only get affectionate when you’re drunk, even your clumsiness, I like it all.”

“H-hold on a moment.”

“I won’t hold back. Do you know what I was thinking when that girl rushed out just now?”

“I couldn’t possibly know that…”

“I should’ve said it properly. What if someone’d beaten me to it? That’s what I was thinking. Thank goodness Ame isn’t the type to make a move on a schoolgirl.”

“Of course I wouldn’t!”

“Really?”

Runa pulled me closer with a tug.

“Sleeping in the same bed every night with a high school girl that beautiful, cute, and busty… you didn’t think anything? Like, ‘I want to touch her,’ or ‘I want to hold her tight’? You didn’t think that?”

“…Runa, what are you getting at…?”

“What does that girl mean to you, Ame?”

It felt like a ball had been thrown at me.
What does Ibara mean to me?
Not a friend, not family, certainly not a stranger, Shinomori Ibara is my—
Mine?
Unable to answer, Runa draws closer. She smells of a different perfume.
A glamorous, bewitching rose note.

“You can’t answer, can you? Good. Seems I made it in time.”

“…Runa…?”

I felt afraid.
Deep within Runa’s eyes, a heat I didn’t recognise flickered.
Like a crimson ember hidden deep within pitch-black charcoal.

“Ame. Are you still keeping my pillow for me?”

Instinctively, I glanced at the cupboard.
And that probably gave everything away.
Runa’s lips curved upwards in delight.

“It’s there.”

Her long fingertips touched my left breast, as if cherishing it.
Contrary to her sensual touch, the eyes fixed on me flickered like a child’s.

“Please, Ame. If I caused you pain, I’ll take responsibility. Spit out all the filth pent up inside you onto me? If it makes you feel better, I’ll do anything.”

So—

“Ame. Shall we live together again?”