Neither bus nor train.
Amamiya Tōru’s home lay about a twenty-minute walk from school.
I never imagined her house was this close to the school. Though that was surprising enough, my astonishment was directed elsewhere.

“What did you just say?”
“………I live here alone.”

Before us stood a two-storey, old-fashioned apartment block.

“Amamiya-san, you live alone?”
“Yes.”
“W-what about your parents?”
“………”

Amamiya Tōru looked away.

Blimey. That’s what I thought.
Perhaps I shouldn’t have asked. Her reaction now was unmistakably a gesture that signalled she didn’t want the subject touched upon.

“I’m sorry.”

I apologised immediately.
　The fault was entirely mine, so I bowed my head without question.
But this time, even that seemed counterproductive. What came back was a voice as cold and prickly as ice.

“Never mind that. Just come with me.”

We climbed the stairs, the click-clack of her loafers echoing with each step, up to the second floor.
Room 201, right at the top, was her home.

“It’s small, but are you really sure?”

　The same question she’d asked me countless times on the way here.
This must be her final confirmation. I nodded emphatically in response.

“Yes. …Well then, come in.”
“Excuse me.”
“You’re the first person I’ve ever told where I live.”
“Really? That makes me rather pleased.”

Amamiya Tōru unlocked the door and entered first. Before it closed, I followed her in.
　Inside was dimly lit. Though the curtains in the room directly visible from the entrance were open, the sunlight couldn’t penetrate properly. It was so dark you couldn’t see your feet without turning on the lights.

“Wait a moment.”

Saying that, she picked up something placed by the entrance and pressed its switch.
Instantly, her hands and the surrounding floor were illuminated.
What she held was something like a freestanding lantern.

“Er, um, aren’t you turning on the lights?”

I called out to Amamiya Tōru’s back as she started walking forward, illuminating her feet as if it were the most natural thing.
Looking up, I saw the switch for the hallway light was clearly on the entrance hall wall.

“Press that.”

I pressed it as instructed.
But the light I’d hoped for didn’t appear, no matter how long I waited.

“The electricity’s been cut off.”
“Eh?”
“It’s strange, isn’t it?”
“Eh?”

The electricity being cut off meant the bills were unpaid.
Given she lived alone, it made me wonder even more what on earth her parents were doing.
And then she asked me if her situation was “strange”. Amamiya Toh herself.
To be perfectly honest, it was strange.
　But putting it into words… I wasn’t sure. I didn’t know what the right choice was.

“But you know, it’s only the electricity that’s been cut off.”
“……”
“The gas and water bills, I’ve managed to pay them up to last month properly.”
“……”
“……Even so, is it still strange? Am I strange for not feeling anything about this situation?”

What was it?

Amamiya Tōru seemed strange.

　The dim light in this room only deepens the shadows around her translucent face, making her expression impossible to read.
Only her mouth continues to move, flatly and mechanically.

“It’s fine. You can say something’s strange if it is.”
“………”
“……I’ve been wondering for a while, but why do you often fall silent when we’re talking, Mashiro? It hurts a bit. It feels like I’m being ignored.”
“Er, um, Amamiya-san?”
“What is it, Mashiro?”

Not a shred of emotion touched her voice now.
Just flat. No barbs, but no kindness either. None of her usual calculation, nor that childish voice she occasionally let slip just for me.
It was as if she’d simply given up, as if she didn’t care anymore.
The transparent Amamiya Tōru I’d once admired.

That same girl, in this situation, felt slightly frightening.

　I was enveloped by a fear of not knowing what she might do.

Even though I didn’t mean to, my body involuntarily took a step back.

“Eh? Are you already trying to leave?”

I truly hadn’t intended to leave.
But I couldn’t possibly say I’d stiffened with fear.

“……”

I fell silent again.

“Say something, Mashiro. Anything at all? Just say what you’re thinking. It’s strange, isn’t it? Living alone in a place like this isn’t normal, you know. I asked you so many times, ‘Are you really coming to my place?’ and you never budged an inch. You said you wanted to come. So? Tell me what you think. You’re the first person besides my parents I’ve ever let in, you know? I told you that earlier, right? Why, why—”

“Why are you silent? Mashiro.”

Amamiya Tōru approaches me, step by step.
She sets down the lantern, carrying the light on her back as she draws nearer to me, unable to move from the darkness.

The distance at which I can finally see her face clearly is so close, it feels as though her face is right before my eyes and nose.

And then I finally realise.

This is the second time today.

Amamiya Tōru’s eyes were glistening.

Then the sensation of her hand pressed against my throat.
Both hands tightening around it.
My breath becoming stifled.

In a trembling voice, she said.

“Truthfully, I didn’t want to show this side of me to you, Mashiro.”