Winter break was just half a month away.
Early September, after summer holidays had ended. Back then, when rainy days stretched on like the rainy season, Amamiya Tōru and I entered into a financial arrangement.
And now it was early December.

Our relationship continued, even after three months had passed.

　◇

Over these three months, we’ve had ample time alone together.
Our proximity inevitably grows closer, even without intent.

“Mashiro.”
“Yes, let’s go, Amamiya-san.”

The first change was establishing ground rules we decided together.
Initially, Amamiya Tōru simply imposed conditions on me. Now, we settle matters jointly.
　………I suppose it’s fair to say we’ve grown closer.
It’s about time I stopped being so contrary.

And these rules mainly concern which days after school we share time together.

Monday: Free due to Amamiya Tōru’s circumstances
Tuesday: Buy her time
Wednesday: Buy her time
Thursday: Free at Amamiya Tōru’s request, as three consecutive days felt restrictive
　Friday: I buy her time
Saturday: I buy her time from morning till night
Sunday: Free, for the same reason as Thursday

Following these rules, we’ve lived until today, trying not to interfere too much in each other’s time. Not to overstep. Yet still allowing ourselves to properly vent any feelings we need to release.

And today is Tuesday.
As usual, today is the day I buy Amamiya Tōru’s time with money.

　Walking from school to the hotel.
The love hotel Amamiya Tōru first showed me, accessible even to high school students.
Lately, I’m practically a regular here myself, and I’m rather proud of how smoothly I can now handle getting the key after paying.

Entering the designated room, Amamiya Tōru wraps her arm around my waist at the door.
Then, drawn into her embrace, my chin is lifted upwards by her free hand.
I closed my eyes.

　Chu.

My lips are devoured audibly.
No tongue is involved.
Just my lips being snapped up by hers.

Immediately released, then devoured again and again.

Haa, haa,

Rough, feverish breaths spill out, my breathing restricted at regular intervals.

I opened my eyes slightly and locked the door behind me with my back hand.

　Good grief. We’re both far too eager.
Ever since that first kiss, a new item called ‘kisses’ was added to our list of rewards.
Today, it was Amamiya Tōru who initiated it, but naturally, there are times when I beg for her lips too. Today just happened to be my turn to receive.

We exchanged kisses over and over again.

And yet, I never tire of it.
　We’re utterly hooked on the act of our bare mucous membranes touching, and now, regardless of the amount, on reward days we always kiss several times.

But there’s one moment when kissing makes us both feel awkward.

Just to test it, the umpteenth time her lips devoured mine, I tried extending my tongue.
My tongue licked her lips.
Instantly, Amamiya Tōru jerked away from me, creating distance.

「………」
「………」

………, …awkward.

Our first kiss.
It was what you’d call a “deep kiss”.
That day, at Amamiya Tōru’s place. On the futon where she probably always slept.
We were in our underwear. Skin pressed tightly against skin, fully savouring each other’s warmth.

Our tongues entwined.

　The atmosphere was definitely conducive to going further.
Even though we’d gone to the trouble of getting down to our underwear.
We simply lost ourselves in that intense kiss, our tongues entwined.
We were utterly absorbed.

It should have been a good memory.
　Even if that day had dissolved into nothing but kissing, and we’d parted without going further.
Even so, if that had been our first kiss, it should have been etched as a pleasurable memory for both of us.
In fact, since then, several times, craving that superior feeling and pleasure of invading Amamiya Tōru’s mouth with that tongue again, I’ve stretched out my tongue mid-kiss, just like now.

But like this, Amamiya Tōru suddenly pulls away.

　Just moments ago, she was devouring my lips so intensely, looking so blissfully lost and wanting me —though I can hardly talk, given my own behaviour.
Now, she’s blatantly frowning, looking away, clearly displeased.

“You idiot, Mashiro. You ruined it.”
“Ruined it? I merely extended my tongue.”
“Focus on the kiss.”
“I am focusing on the kiss…”
“That’s not a kiss.”

Saying that, Amamiya Tōru’s eyes widened slightly, as if startled.
Compared to the beginning, she really has become better at showing her expressions.
Even so, to anyone but me, she still appears transparent. It’s only a slight change, but…
Somehow, it makes me happy.

But that aside.

Amamiya Tōru, perhaps sensing what I’m about to say, awkwardly grabs the hem of her uniform skirt out of habit.

“Our first time… wasn’t that a kiss too?”
“That was… but… uuuuugh.”

As I’ve said many times before, that act where our tongues first entwined was undoubtedly our “first kiss”.
She couldn’t possibly deny that important first time by saying “it wasn’t a kiss”. Besides, if she did deny it, I’d be deeply hurt.

“Didn’t you enjoy that kiss?”
“………You know perfectly well. You’re just being spiteful, Mashiro.”
“But Amamiya-san, whenever I stick out my tongue, you immediately stiffen up like this and get sulky, don’t you?”
“That’s……”
“That’s?”

Amamiya Tōru said.

　It was undoubtedly a psychology I couldn’t comprehend.
In fact, I even began to wonder if anyone could understand and empathise with her words, thinking, “Yeah, that’s how it is, isn’t it?”
But, though she seemed reluctant to say it in a low voice, she still stated it clearly.

It felt too good, she said, and it scared her.
She said she didn’t want to do it anymore because it was frightening.